you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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