I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
