FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
