Kareoke will never be a sober sport
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
