marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
