Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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