I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
