How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Are we still banned from the library?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
