think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
