For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
