I want to stick my p in your. b.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
