what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
