I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
