The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
