Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
