I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
