Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
