i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
