I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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