He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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