well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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