is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
