Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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