Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
