Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he thought i was a dude.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
