Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
