Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
