if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
