Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
