i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
