Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
