My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
