..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
