he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
My liver just had a heart attack.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
