Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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