Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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