4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
