I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
