Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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