i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
