Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
