Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
