TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
