Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
