Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
