so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
