After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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