he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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