Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he fucked my hip out of place.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
