i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
