I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
